This post was written by me on summer last year (Dec 2011) on my published notes on FB
TRUST ~ why is it so hard to trust?
pertanyaan di atas crossed my mind waktu 1.5 tahun lalu tepatnya waktu aku ada di Indo n waktu lagi gunting rambut and juga ke dokter gigi (ga samaan tentunya, beda ocassion XD)...entah napa tiba2 aja in the middle waktu ke tempat itu ada kepikirn, 'kok aku bisa ya percayain rambut n gigi ku ma salon n dokter ini?' n hatiku langsung jawab pertanyaan ini...'ya tentu aja lah kamu bisa percayain gigi n rambut kamu ke orang2 dengan profesi di atas, karena itu memang kerjaan mereka, they know what they do, so I can trust them to look after my hair or my teeth'. Tapi, ada jawaban lagi di hatiku yang bilang, 'how about ur life? can you fully trust God?' Ideal answer buat pertanyaan ini 'iya donk, tentu ja aku bisa percaya Tuhan'. Tapi, coba deh jujur ma diri kita (including me tentunya), seberapa sering sih kita kuatir atau raguin Tuhan, bahkan mempertanyakan kemampuan Tuhan untuk look after kehidupan kita? Padahal, He is the Creator of my life lho, He is the writer of my life...n logika nya seharusnya dengan 'gampang' nya lho kita percaya Tuhan secara fully, karena Tuhan itu Creator kita, sedangkan salon atau dentist itu bukan...tapi kenapa ya kenyataan nya ga selalu demikian? yg ada...kita 'struggle' buat percaya Tuhan (ya bisa diliat dr seberapa sering nya kita kuatir, ragu atau tanyain Tuhan)? n seringkali kita 'remind' God to look after us, to fulfill our wishes, etc...ini bisa diliat seberapa seringnya kita doa n dateng ma Tuhan dengan our 'shopping list' instead of dateng ma Tuhan n ask Him 'what is His will in us?'. N lately aku mikir kok klo kita keep coming to Him with our 'shopping list' and asking God to what we want, kok seakan kita ini yg jadi 'tuan' ya n Tuhan yg seakan jadi 'hamba'? n pada kenyataan nya harusnya it supposed not to be that way...Dia yang harus jadi 'Tuan', dan kita yang jadi hambanya (tapi bukan 'hamba-Tuan 'relationship yang aku mau cerita sekarang ini, next time probably kalau Tuhan berkehendak)
N beberapa bulan terakhir, Tuhan ingetin aku untuk punya iman seperti anak kecil (child like faith), yang hanya perlu percaya ma Daddy nya...n story di bawah dr John Piper maybe bisa kasih gambaran tentang how to trust (punya iman) n gimana trust itu glorifies Him.
"Your daddy is standing in a swimming pool out a little bit from the edge. You are, let’s say, three years old and standing on the edge of the pool. Daddy holds out his arms to you and says, “Jump, I’ll catch you. I promise.” Now, how do you make your daddy look good at that moment? Answer: trust him and jump. Have faith in him and jump. That makes him look strong and wise and loving. But if you won’t jump, if you shake your head and run away from the edge, you make your daddy look bad. It looks like you are saying, “he can’t catch me” or “he won’t catch me” or “it’s not a good idea to do what he tells me to do.” And all three of those make your dad look bad.
But you don’t want to make God look bad. So you trust him. Then you make him look good–which he really is. And that is what we mean when we say, “Faith glorifies God” or “Faith gives God glory.” It makes him look as good as he really is. So trusting God is really important.
And the harder it seems for him to fulfill his promise, the better he looks when you trust him. Suppose that you are at the deep end of a pool by the diving board. You are four years old and can’t swim, and your daddy is at the other end of the pool. Suddenly a big, mean dog crawls under the fence and shows his teeth and growls at you and starts coming toward you to bite you. You crawl up on the diving board and walk toward the end to get away from him. The dog puts his front paws up on the diving board. Just then, your daddy sees what’s happening and calls out, “Johnny, jump in the water. I’ll get you.”
Now, you have never jumped from one meter high and you can’t swim and your daddy is not underneath you and this water is way over your head. How do you make your daddy look good in that moment? You jump. And almost as soon as you hit the water, you feel his hands under your arms and he treads water holding you safely while someone chases the dog away. Then he takes you to the side of the pool.
We give glory to God when we trust him to do what he has promised to do–especially when all human possibilities are exhausted. Faith glorifies God. That is why God planned for faith to be the way we are justified." — John Piper
source: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show/199597
n belakangan ini Tuhan juga ingetin aku tentang artikel yg pernah aku baca di glorianet beberapa tahun yang lalu, waktu aku masih tahun pertama di Australia (aku coba retrieve artikelnya, tapi ga bisa ketemu, tapi aku masih inget kurang lebih inti dari artikelnya). Artikel yang aku baca itu ditulis oleh Derek Prince, and di sana Derek Prince cerita tentang relationship 'ayah and anak'. Di artikel itu digambarkan kalau sang anak lagi main di park yang ada panjat2 dan ternyata anak ini manjat2 nya ketinggian, so dia takut buat ke balik lagi ke bawah, and anak ini minta tolong ma daddy nya buat selamatin dia...daddy bilang 'let go of your hold', tapi anak ini terlalu takut untuk let go, justru dia pegangan makin kuat sama tiang nya..daddy nya keep saying buat let go n trust him, as he will catch him/her...without him or her let go of the hold, daddy nya ga akan bisa buat catch anak ini...at the end anak ini let go, n trust daddy nya untuk tangkep dia..
So, inti dari story yg di atas yg Derek Prince ingetin aku di kala itu adalah 'serahkan dahulu baru percaya'; let go n let God take control...ya klo aku tetep genggam kuat, gimana Tuhan bisa berbuat (Tuhan bisa aja maksa, tapi inget Tuhan kita bukan Tuhan yg pemaksa, Dia Tuhan yang lembut and Dia adalah Tuhan yang kasih kita freewill untuk kita milih). Karenanya, Dia hanya tunggu kita untuk let go of what we hold and trust Him, so He could look after it...n again sama seperti yg John Piper bilang tadi di atas 'faith glorifies God'; when we trust Him, we glorify His name...
So, sekarang ini balik lagi ke my initial question, kenapa trust itu susah? sebelum bahas lebih lanjut, aku coba cari pa sih definisi Trust itu...according to Merriam-Webster dictionary, definisi dr trust itu ada 5, tapi aku ambil 3 aja yg relevant ma notes ku...
Definition of TRUST1
a : assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or somethingb : one in which confidence is placed2
a : dependence on something future or contingent : hopeb : reliance on future payment for property (as merchandise) delivered : credit <bought furniture="" on="">trust></bought>
5 a (1) : a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship (2) : something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another
N ya kata2 di atas yg aku bold, itu adalah karakter dari 'trust', so ya trust itu harder dari believe, karena in trust itu involved 'dependence'...n kebayakan dari kita ga mau do this (including me), karena it seems kaya kita lost control and juga 'weak' karena kita akan depend ma others...n just a few weeks ago, Tuhan ingetin ke aku lewat kotbah dr pendetaku (Pdt. Daniel Prajogo aka Ko Dan) di gerejaku, Ko dan da mention klo waktu kita bergantung sama Tuhan sepenuhnya itu menyenangkan hatiNya; it pleases Him when I come and totally dependent on Him...karena di saat kita depend on God, dengan kata lain kita entrust our life to Him and have confidence in Him...n di saat kita bilang kita trust Him, we should not feel worry atau doubt Him...karena worry and doubt are not walking hand in hand...
so, di saat kita bilang kita percaya Tuhan, kita haruslah punya iman dengan terms and conditions "meskipun/sekalipun", bukan "tetapi"...seperti Habakuk:
Sekalipun pohon ara tidak berbunga, pohon anggur tidak berbuah, hasil pohon zaitun mengecewakan, sekalipun ladang-ladang tidak menghasilkan bahan makanan, kambing domba terhalau dari kurungan, dan tidak ada lembu sapi dalam kandang, namun aku akan bersorak-sorak di dalam TUHAN, beria-ria di dalam Allah yang menyelamatkan aku. ALLAH Tuhanku itu kekuatanku: Ia membuat kakiku seperti kaki rusa, Ia membiarkan aku berjejak di bukit-bukitku.(Untuk pemimpin biduan. Dengan permainan kecapi). Habakuk 3:17-19
Dan di saat kita mempunya iman seperti ini, kita memuliakan namaNya...
And my last point, trust itu tidak hanya terjadi secara instan, believe bisa terjadi instan, karena di dalam believe (diambil dari Merriam-Webster) tidak ada karakter 'entrusted' ataupun 'dependence'...
Definition of BELIEVEintransitive verb
1
a : to have a firm religious faithb : to accept something as true, genuine, or real <ideals we="">believe in> believes in ghosts></ideals>
2
: to have a firm conviction as to the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something believe in exercise>
3
: to hold an opinion : think believe so>transitive verb
1
a : to consider to be true or honest believe the reports><you wouldn="">believe how long it took>b : to accept the word or evidence of believe you><couldn>believe my ears></couldn></you>
2
: to hold as an opinion : suppose believe it will rain soon>— be·liev·er noun— not believe: to be astounded at n't believe my luck>
dan kita baru akan bisa entrust dan juga depend on someone itu takes time to grow, yang berarti adanya relationship di karakter 'trust' itu...n Tuhan mau kita punya continous relationship in ourwalk with Him (in our faith), to know and trust Him...so, one day di saat kita ga mengerti apa yg terjadi di dalam kehidupan kita, kita boleh terus bilang and percaya akan janjiNya dan karakterNya...
~So when you don't understand, When you don't see His plan, When you can't trace His hand, Trust His heart~ Charles Spurgeon)
my reflection: Tuhan, aku mengerti sekarang kenapa lately Engkau keep reminding me about 'child like faith' and 'trusting You'. Thank you Lord for reminding me once again tentang faith glorifies You, ajar aku Tuhan untuk mempunya iman seperti anak kecil yang hanya percaya akan Bapanya, dan tidak bergantung pada pengertianku sendiri. Ajar aku juga Bapa, agar imanku seperti Habakuk yang mau tetap bersorak sorai di dalam Engkau walaupun keadaan sekitarnya tidak mendukung imannya..Bapa, enable be Lord untuk let go what I hold tightly in my hand, dan mau menyerahkannya dan mempercayakannya kepada Engkau...aku mau mengenalMu lebih lagi di hidupku...to taste and see the goodness of You, not just be a 'second-hand', yang hanya mendengar tentang kebaikan Tuhan dari kata orang...tapi let me taste and see more of You in my life...amen
~Thank God for what you have and Trust God with what you need~Sola gratia,
~Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God~ Corrie Ten Boom
Ingrid ^^
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